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Had a totally crazy but FUN AND EXHILARATING outing with the absolutely adorable LETING :) (yesterday.heh.)
Went to lido, above isetan! Finally saw what a place it was after looking up at it all the time when shopping :)
Watched cloudy with a chance of meatballs with a highly amused + entertained leting beside me laughing melodiously throughout. I've got proof okay, how nice her laughter was cos afterwards the (500) days of summer movie, had this absolutely crazy woman laughing hysterically + annoyingingly beside the poor leting >< yepps, but I wasn't that humoured by the meatball movie as leting but definetely well entertained :) the summer movie, was a highly subtle love sentence for moi, but don't feel like reflecting about it here...let's keep it in my heart :)
TWO MOVIES IN A ROW! Never before achieved such a feat :)
Afterwards, went to ION walkwalk + find present for leting's brother :) ION is so cool, I shall go there shop one day ! Haha and the takoyaki...
Hmm, wonderful things are worth cracking my mouth open for like leting's absolute sense of humour and the takoyaki :) yep, to put it simply, in two words.
PURE FUN.
- Mood:
cheerful
I say it is absolute RUBBISH.
Absence makes the heart grow SICK.
Found my TNPS friend on facebook. I'm starting to love facebook for all the lost friends I've found via this,
It somehow fills up an empty space,
like my history's finally filled.
I feel complete :D
Another's leaving, I'm gonna fall sick. AGAIN.
What a wonderful world.
- Music:What a wonderful world- Louis Armstrong
For one,
there's the kind that a friend you know will always be by your side, willing to share and what not. You trust her completely but because of this, you don't wanna hurt her with bad things.
Then,
there's the kind that you give your all, thinking they will do so too. Yet sub consciously, you know they aren't that reliable, aren't there for you. Yet you just hope with all your heart they are not what your heart tells you they are.
And,
there will always be those that you simply don't trust, yet ends up telling them everything that you know they'll offer good advice.
Lastly,
there's those that you can't accept that they can be a close, heart-to-heart friend but they'll always appear when you are hurt and offer you salvation.
to those that bring me more good then I can bring to them,
thank you and sorry.
to those that I love so much till I can't bear to hurt you,
I love you
to those that take more from me than you give back,
I'll try to distant, to keep myself from the potential hurt that you'll eventually deliver
to those that are always there to offer me what you've got, yet I sometimes can't accept,
thank you
its surprising how my life turns out in carbon copies, one after another.
thank you. take care. cos' I'm leaving, once I can.
- Mood:
crushed - Music:my love will get you home - Christine Glass
Being quite sick is like having fever and sore throat.
Being very sick is like having fever and sore throat and vomiting.
Being sick like me is not even having the energy to finish this post.
- Mood:
blank
Decided not to convince dad with my "exceptional" persuasion skills cos,
A girl's gotta know her own limit eh? We're talking of up to 2000 bucks at risk here!
Yet.
If the trip isn't cancelled eventually, won't I regret alot? Though it is a place I probably won't be comfortable in, at least I want to try living and learning in a different environment :(
Another thing, what I am to do now?
So ambiguous, I don't even want to know.
Unless they offer a place in another programme! XD
AH, people leaving next week already :(
I am not going to reply.
Simply because this people aren't worth talking about,
they want to die, go ahead.
they want to lead, go ahead.
Just leave me out of this emotional mess.
I am not going to change because of you, you and you.
I know I ain't perfect , but to change for ***holes like you two is simply making me more imperfect.
There is and will be a need for me to focus on the things to celebrate and love.
yet.
I've changed. Just like that. Snap.
I'm scared of myself now, what to do?
happened to see some photos and I was caught by the stark reality of friendships,
maybe it is the way the world goes around now, or simply a trend,
nothing can be even completely true, even those who claim 101%; because for those who do, what about 102%? 103%?,
because numbers are infinite, there is a never ending, and nothing can be completely real, can it?
thinking about this, I realise the true meaning of what someone told me,
sometimes, the closer things and people are, the further they are away from each other,
worse still, there are still things that are simply there, well, by default.
there isn't anyone that we can trust with everything, but rather, we should follow our hearts and know when and who to trust with something;
yet despite realising this reality,
I just still can't believe it.
Follow your heart, I guess.
there are still some things that are obviously ain't what I think, but why am I grabbing and believing in the hope that it is?
- Music:stick with you
what the freaking hell is your problem.
its so freaking damm near, and you are still acting like ms know it all.
This is terrible. It feels like I am going for PSLE all over again, actually, hang on, I feel even WORSER.
they keep plunking all the bloody responsibility to make her study on me and I can't help but scream
I DIDN'T GET ALL THIS BLOODY HELP WHEN I HAD MINE!
So why the freaking hell are you making me but every single BLOODY thing on hold for her? When she doesn't freaking appreciate and you still blame me for being fierce.
Worse still, her attitude. Scoring a lowlowlow 178/300 still dare to tell me she ain't ashamed.
This carries on, everything, I mean EVERYTHING in my life is going to fing screw up. as though EOYS aren't chasing me from the behind, I've gotta bother about her stupid results and when I fail, you make it look as though I am the stupid one.
why are parents so biased to their younger kids? when will she ever learn that reading chick flicks ain't gonna help her vocab? when will she start arguing? when will she listen?
i swear, if i cant dish equal treatment to my kids, i'll only have ONE.
sorry, i know this is a veryvery terrible post, bear with me. not feeling so well these days, MENTALLY.
- Mood:
aggravated
That's all I have to say, except,
I miss Nan Chiau Band all the more today, where I was of use, where everything was so simple
- Mood: melancholy
Found this version of hymm, played by band of another country that I've never seen before. I believe it is Thailand:D Brasses aren't that strong throughout, though they have a significant amount of people but at crucial parts very powerful :D
Not as much feeling as NYCB's but I guess that cannot be helped?
What am I gonna do ? >.<
a REALLY old song but I still like it :D Especially the line : 朋友我永远祝福你
I really wish I can put that in practice now :X
Shall put down some lessons/thoughts I learnt/garnered today :
- 因爱过才能有恨
2. Sometimes, there are things that we feel but we can't put a name to it. Other times, we learn of a label and we scurry to find something to label it with, just to prove that we have it.
3. Never ever interfere when both parties are close to your heart, one side will be hurt and I don't wish for that to happen
(Haha. Though for this, I ain't really gonna bother about it cos I really want her to learn something that isn't academic)
Gah, I sent kok wee the message. I'll be horrified if he replies >.<
- Mood:
moody
Disclaimer: Got this from an email Aunt theresa sent me :D
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.
The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.
Each of our troubles is a stepping-stone.
We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!
Shake it off and take a step up.
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less from people but more from your God.
Though it is hard for me to put into practice what is the above, for the pain has yet gone,
It shall stay here as a reminder till I get better because now, it is still hard to forgive and forget the pain. I know this is selfish, but let me be like that for a while, I swear I won't affect anyone, I need a way to vent my feelings at myself because I don't believe in self-deception.
I'll try to step up from these shovels of sand and dirt life's given me, but cos' its sand, it hard not to sink deeper at times.
I promised, cos I'm not worth making anyone hurt for me, I rather keep a smiley face, make your life a happier one than mine rather than making you sink with me cos I think fate has it in its cards for me to be a stepping stone for my friends.
It was with nan chiau trombones and the band itself. I miss kok wee, randall and travis and all the times we shared.
It's rather suprising how a simple 4 pax section with only one girl, could provide so much love as compared to other groups of people. I have to say, I am really proud to be the section leader of such a wonderful, simple section where despite different backgrounds, the sole goal is to improve our music with every step. Funny how when I felt passion, I couldn't put a name to it. When I learnt of the name, I put it at places, just to seem normal.:D
As such i will start to stalk kok wee on fb and hopefully, have a section reunion with the two other hilariously funny juniors! :D for they brought me painless laughter.
nanchiautrombones 06' ftw!
The reason for the passion in band music, my dear section, which I didn't appreciate enough <3
- Mood:
grateful
nice song, one a strong beat that keeps my heart steady, pumping like any other being before it loses momentum at the ache.
I promised someone I wouldn't let all this get my happiness down.
I promised someone that there are things that don't worth what I am putting in
I promised someone that I would hang on there.
I promised someone that I will move on.
Because.
It just isn't worth it.
So what if it broke up your family? Wasted half your life?
It all ends in futility now. It all ends, well, without a result.
I will move on, but go deeper back into my hole because.
I failed myself once again.
It hurts. Badly. I even considered taking painkillers because it just hurt so much, yet
I promised someone that I would never do so.
Promises are what keeping me hanging there,
They are my source of moving on,
Because I don't want to disappoint you all.
It hurts. It is painful. It aches. To a degree unknown,
I'll hang on, for those I promised,
Though I didn't I promise to hold on to my self worth
I know who's reading this, I know what you'll think, I know what you'll say,
I held back already, but now,
I really need to get it off my chest because I hate to bother those I care about.
So if you aren't happy with it, don't take this to heart.
What Claire said today woke me up, about not doing things to build a portfolio otherwise it'll all be hollow. I will remember this, for my heart just lost something I had a passion for, but my eyes are seeing things that I had never seen.
Don't take me for an idiot.
- Mood:
indescribable
F YOU BASTARD. EVERYTHING OF YOURS IS SO VALUABLE JUST DUMP US AWAY ASS HOLE.
- Mood: pissed off
Just sang twinkle twinkle little star to greg, as per his request
Singing to him, in the lightless room facing the window, with the moonlight shining in,
The song request came after he asked me:
" Dora jiejie, the moon and star come out now? Why no more sunny day?"
I was deciding the real scientific truth and telling him a fictitious story that wouldn't make sense,
After trying to explain the truth, I went into an explanation that was between both the choices I had, I told him,
" The Sun went to find other boys and girls who have slept under the moon and the stars to play with them because it is time for you to sleep"
He accepted this explanation, and went to bed, probably expecting it to be a "sunny day" tomorrow.
He asked for the song and as I was singing, he actually stared deeply at the sky beyond our window, as though he really was taking the lyrics into account and somehow, I felt a rush of emotion in me,
My brother's only three this year, yet in his eyes, I see a yearning to see tomorrow yet at the same time appreciating the moment as it is right now. Something missing from alot of people these days, how we dread the next day, especially if something big is going to happen, so much that we are in oblivion of what we have now. Just like something Aunt Theresa showed me the other day, along the lines of:
As a child, I was dying to start school.
As a student , I was dying to enter college,
In college, I was dying to leave college to pursue a career,
Having a career, I was dying to settle down, get married, have children,
As a parent, I was dying for my kids to start working
As I grew old, I was dying to retire.
And now I am really dying, realising that I have not yet lived.
As we grow older, we expect more things from ourselves that when it isn't finished, we seem as though the next daylight would kill us, we lose the yearning to live another day, to see another sunny day.
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